Philip J Whaley
182 Gifford Ln.
Bozrah, Ct. 06334

Age - 38
Blackjack dealer-Foxwoods resort casino
Email - Tempus005@yahoo.com

By Sigmund Ivarsson 10/24/01

The Broken Heart


I thank God for breaking my heart. Without that step of preparation I could not have been saved because my heart was so hard and stubborn that I would have gladly volunteered to be the anti- Christ. I come from a family of atheists who when they hear me talk about God at the dinner table, they all agree in unison to say, shut up! So you can imagine that I feel right at home here at the Zola board. Nevertheless, here at least you are brethren and you know your born again humans from your average believe in anything atheists, which of course is a religion in itself. If you allow me a silly detour, I think these atheist must have more faith than we do but of course it is misplaced. Now to get back on track, being born again means that we have been chosen as the bride of Christ. I can hardly breathe as I write this, because the tears and sobs of Gods love has already overcome me again as I write this. Okay! A few tissues and I am back on track, I hope, Any way. Since I am to be a bride I should bring a dowry to the wedding, what kind of bride brings nothing to the groom. Well let's see, What could possibly be of use to him? My intellect, no that is too carnal. My skill, no that is like Cain, returning a gift that he gave me. My voice, there is an idea, but wait, I was mute until he started speaking through me. I know, I will bring him my broken heart. Tears, sob, here I go again. More tissues. Okay! If this monologue has become too tedious please tell me to shut up, it works. One more thing I would like to add, when I was saved, I cried for six month non stop. My family sent me to psychologists, who ended up telling me there was nothing wrong with me. They sent me to hypnotists who said I could not be hypnotized. The psychologist asked me for help and the hypnotist quit her job. Thirteen years latter I am still crying and Christians say I am emotional. I think that I am in love with God but that is not scriptural, can someone help me, I would help you if I could. Siggy.